That Day

Disclaimer: I wrote this piece the day we had to say goodbye to a good friend of mine. I’ve never published it,  but while glancing through the hundreds of drafts sitting here, waiting to be complete, I found it. I hope it can bring others comfort and just being reminded of a loved one and having memories with them is one of the greatest gifts we could have.

I feel like when you left this earth, you took a piece of us with you. And I could ask for it back, but having a piece of us with you brings me a little comfort. You left us with so many memories that it’s probably the least we could do.

To say that we loved you would be an understatement.  To say that we miss you would be one too. It doesn’t make sense to think about you being gone because I still expect to hear you laugh when I talk to you. I still expect to hear your greeting of “Hey Chica” and see you walk through my door. I know it will never come. I still have so much to tell you, so for now, I’ll talk to the sky.

I know you’d fix this if you could. You always had a way of smirking when things went wrong. It was almost as if you wanted to show that whatever happened couldn’t get you down. It was one of the things we all loved about you. We needed your smile today.

I needed it. I used it as I told people about how great you were. I told them all of the things you did and said that made me happy to be your friend. I thought those things perfectly described you and everything that you were. I ran out of words. Not because I didn’t have a million great memories and stories,  but because all of the things I could ever say about you wouldn’t ever do you justice. It’s impossible to count all the stars in the sky.

My eyes ache from crying. My head aches from thinking. And my heart aches because it isn’t quite as full as it used to be.

I could ask a million questions, but I know that there are no answers. There are moments in the day that I’m angry. Why did God need you right now? Didn’t he see that we needed you more? We still needed you here.

I remember your laugh the most and how if you had something really funny to tell me, you’d start laughing half way through your sentence. It was as if you couldn’t wait to laugh with me and it made me feel special. Being your friend made me feel so special because I know you cherished the ones you had. I was so blessed to have you as a friend.
Now I’m blessed to have you as an angel.